Year Two Review

The fall

In my previous review, I wrote about why my first year was such a huge success. A big part of that success was being given the opportunity to lead a project where we could truly solve the problems my team had experienced in a product I deeply cared about.

It was the perfect role for me. My 22 years of training and experience had brought me to the right place at the right time. It was my dream project: I had the best people around me, we knew exactly where we were headed, and we were having a lot of fun.

So, I put everything I had into the project. I studied, drafted architectures, and sketched ideas. Together with my team, we implemented proof of concepts to test these ideas, which ultimately led us to a successfully validated solution.

But then, overnight, everything changed. The project was canned, and our team was scattered. I’m not going to talk about why – not only because I don’t really understand it myself, but mostly because that’s not what I want this article to be about. It may even have been the correct decision from a business standpoint, who knows? But freelancing isn’t always a straight road of roses. Projects get canned all the time, and as freelancers, we may be more vulnerable when that happens.

Where do you turn?

Imagine you’re at the peak of your career, and all of a sudden, you fall. In that moment, you need someone to help pick you up. If you’re an employee, that’s usually the role of your boss or HR, who can guide you towards support. But when you work for yourself, you don’t really have that safety net.

You could turn to your colleagues, but in my case, I felt like I had let them down, and I didn’t want to drag them further into my own fall.

If you work for a consultancy, you still have co-workers to share lunch with and have fun. But as a freelancer, you’re on your own. I know that’s kind of implied, but it became painfully clear this year. Instead, you have to rely on your friends and hope they can support you through a more difficult version of yourself. That can be really hard, and I’m incredibly grateful that mine stuck around, but I know I placed a heavy burden on them, and for that, I’m truly sorry.

Can it get worse before it gets better?

So, I decided I needed a change. I blew this opportunity, and it sucks, but I still love what I do. However, I realized that if I want to stay a lead developer and truly act as one, I needed to move.

I found a couple of really interesting positions, but they all required me to give up my life as a freelancer. Even though I seriously considered it, I ultimately decided against it. (I don’t understand why companies still think that full-time employees are better suited to these kinds of roles)

So, I kept looking and encountered the worst market I’ve ever experienced. I’ve seen many fellow developers out of assignments for the entire year, forced to accept rates that are frankly insulting, just to put food on the table. The rates I’ve been offered for several assignments have actually been 29% lower than what I charged in 2012!!!

So, 2024 – not a great year for IT consultants.

An opportunity?

This is why I call this year the worst. But simply lying down and giving up isn’t really my style. Instead, when the market failed, I chose to view this challenge as an opportunity. One of the perks of working for yourself – and one of the main reasons I decided to become and remain a freelancer – is the freedom to choose how to invest your time and money.

So, as stupid as it may sound, I decided to drop 50% of my billable hours. For the past few months, I’ve still been working 50% for my old client, but on a different project in a pure developer role. Anyone who knows me understands that this isn’t really me, but the project is fun, I can do it well, and my colleagues are great. For now, it feels like a good fit.

The other 50% of my time is spent entirely on me and my own projects. I’m not ready to share too much about that just yet, and we’ll see how things unfold. What I do know is that this step was essential for me to rediscover the joy of development. In the meantime, I’ll stay open to new opportunities.

The good parts

I did have many great moments this year though. I continued attending inspiring conferences such as CSSDay and Smashing Conf – Design & UX. We also kept running our boot camp and organized lunches and a Christmas dinner with our network of fellow freelancers.

But the absolute highlight of this year was getting to speak at meetups and conferences. It was even more fun because I didn’t do it alone this time, which made the preparations just as enjoyable as the talks themselves. I doubt there will be many talks this coming year, but I really hope so because it’s so much fun.

What’s next?

Last year, I set a long list of goals for myself. I actually accomplished most of them, with the exception of shipping my big client project (okay, kind of a big exception). This year, things feel different, and it’s harder to set concrete goals since I’m not sure where this year will take me.

But there is one thing that has been on my mind.

It’s only a job

I’ve heard this phrase over and over again this year: “It’s only a job!” For me, that has never been the case. It’s never just a job. My work is a huge part of my life, and if I’m not giving it my all, then what’s the point of showing up every day? I can’t stay in a role that feels like just a job – that’s simply not who I am. That might make me seem too engaged, too sensitive, or whatever, but that’s just me. I care deeply about my work, and that’s what makes me great – and it’s usually why my clients tend to like me.

So, my goal for this year is simple: Find something that truly inspires me, something I want to pour my energy into completely.

Because at the end of the day, I genuinely love what I do. And even though freelancing can be lonely and scary at times, it’s still where I want to be. Hopefully, there will be a year three review, and hopefully it will reflect my best year yet.

• article
• freelancing
• personal